law school, life

An Open Letter To My First Semester At University

Dear University,

You challenged me in ways I never fathomed to be challenged.

To be honest, it was quite the blow to my ego, just how much you expected from me. It’s not like I didn’t try.I gave it my all. But you always seem to want more. You say that’s how I’m supposed to get better, Well, for me, that’s how I learnt how to settle for mediocre.

The people you gave me all had something to teach. Some taught me that people are like the wind, they come and go. Others stick with you no matter what. In the end you attract what you are so what does that tell me about myself?

There are days when I really really hate you. You see, I was bought up to believe if you put in your 110%, you can get anything you want. But you changed that.

I’m playing a new game where cunning and shortcuts are appreciated more then effort. It’s a game where all the players are so advanced in their tactics and their sweet tongues and I’m still looking for a rule book.

But I feel like we have a long way to go. I might not have fallen in love with you but I can learn to love you. Slowly but surely

Signing off

life

An Open Letter to High School

They always say that there is life after high school, as if high school is some trap we need to escape in order to enjoy the real glories of life.

Dear High School,

For me, you felt like being thrust into a social experiment I hadn’t consented for and coming out the other end I’m much wiser and confused.

Year 8 went by in a mix of feeling lost in this huge castle made of endless brick corridors, the pushing and hooting of kids who were much taller and older, and the constant struggle to find my crowd and weed out all the mean girls and snarky boys.

Year 9 was a blur where the only thing that stands out is camp. That camp which involved finding Slender Man in the woods and deciding to share bunks with this girl who would later become one of the most important people in my life.

Year 10, the end of middle school, was full of grown ups telling us we need to have everything figured out. It was funny how we were supposed to be old enough to figure out our life careers but not old enough to legally cross the road and get Subway during school hours.

Year 11 was one of the most challenging periods of growth I have ever experienced in my life. While I was hateful towards school and life, I’m now grateful for this year because it made me who I am today. Most of it revolved around making sense of what I wanted in a man and from a relationship. But year 11 was also when I took the biggest risks like travelling alone overseas and deciding to become a Prefect.

Year 12. Sigh. My last year went by in a blur of assignments and stressing out over where I want to see myself next year. I spent so much of my year thinking about next year that I’m left confused when I’m finally at the end. Where am I supposed to go from here?

High school was like a contained safe haven where you had rules and guidelines, even for the smallest things in life, you got the next five years of your life handed down to you. So now, free of responsibility or direction, I await my fate to take me to the next five years of my life and the next and the next.

High school, you’ve been good to me but now it’s time to say goodbye

Love,

Aasma